This week I’ve asked all our writers (and a few guest writers) to contribute a post about “What Matters Now?” for them. The big thoughts and small actions that make a difference, when now is the time to do it. Stuff to think about and do this year. Make the change now, and reward yourself with what comes after that.
Largo’s up next, and his topic is MUTUAL EXPERIENCE.
image credit: http://www.beauceronguide.com/
Two guys at the bar, talking about the usual sophisticated topics for gentlemen.
“Are you a tits or arse man, Largs?”
“You’re asking me what I find attractive in a woman, right?”
“Sure, okay, let’s put it that way.”
“I can’t really explain it. Forget it. You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me.”
I was drunk enough to actually try.
“Well, I like the girl who has that playful way of smiling… As if she has a joke you’d really like to hear and if you’re really lucky, she just might tell you… A girl with a walk so poised she may as well have been on a tightrope… A girl who speaks with such eloquence that you follow everything she has to say… With a way of making you feel like nothing else mattered in the world than what you were doing right there and then with her…”
He stares at me blankly. Then he said something so incredibly irrelevant, it demonstrated exactly why so many people these days are socially inept.
“You’re not one of those ‘good personality’ freaks, are you?”
I rolled my eyes.
—
You understand other people by experiencing what they have been through, or you empathise by imagining yourself being in their position. When someone doesn’t get you, they either lack experience or imagination.
Yet some experiences are so unique, you can only discuss them freely with a select few. My mate in the above example is NOT one of these people. Living in his black and white ‘looks or personality’ bubble of his, he couldn’t imagine a woman’s individuality as being sexy.
And you can’t blame it on ‘just being a guy’. Women do this too. I know this perfect 10 (turns every head whenever she walks into a room) and she has NO idea what it feels like to let a guy know she really likes him. No idea. Because she’s always had a long list of suitors and admirers, she never had to.
And there in lies the rub. She doesn’t feel that anxiety of asking someone out because she never took the chance. And if you’re not taking the chance, what the hell are you doing with yourself?
Do you see why social skills are so important to learn? For guys, if you don’t learn how to ask a girl out, you are at the mercy of the girls who ask YOU out.
And trust me on this, these aren’t always the girls you want.
But if you’ve never asked a girl out you wouldn’t know now, would you…?
Posted on April 29, 2010 by Jak
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